tip of the hat, wag of the finger to you, conference finals

In honor of Memorial Day, I present a scheme from the most patriotic man alive.

TIP OF THE HAT

Deron Williams - playing great, even if Utah has no chance. I didn't think his style worked for the Jazz, but he changed and made the rare step from awkward to svelte playmaker in one year. Thank GOD... we need all the great pointmen we can possibly have. I'm ecstatic for him.

LeBron - didn't deserve all the crap for making the pass at the end of game 1, but perhaps should have passed at the end of game 2. Did he let the talk get to him? Now, people are saying (as I have been) that he needs to make the finals and possibly win (or do great) just to get attention for the league.

uhhh... YEAH!

That's why I picked the Cavs to win... Stern knows another Spurs-Pistons series is going to turn people away. Plus, they haven't been that bad. They may have got down in a 2-0 hole, but they could have won both those games by hitting open jumpers. For Detroit to barely win in their own building, even when they held LB to 10, and for Cleveland to win heartily at home... why doesn't anyone think the Cavs are legit? They might get "help" from the refs, but they have been much better in this series than they were last year.

I hope LeBron turns it on as well, and I think it'll happen. They'll MAKE it happen, if you know what I mean.

Portland - stay classy.

And remember that the Sixers have much better trading chips for Zach than the Lakers.

WAG OF THE FINGER

Boston - to the Sports Guy, to all Bostonians, to New England sports writers.... knock it off. You're acting like the franchise was going to be in a groove like those 60's teams once Oden came, and now, suddenly, they're the new Clippers. This is a letdown, admittedly a major one, but your franchise is not cursed, and your team is not dead. This is not going to kill you guys for years and years without end.

Weren't you in the playoffs recently? Weren't you in the conference finals this decade? You act like this team has been total shite since Bird left, but that's not true. Yes, the Pitino era was a waste, but this decade has been up and down. If you really want a great post player, you have better trading options than Chicago does for Pau Gasol. If you land up with Al Horford, I still think you have one of the better front lines in the East. Yes, Danny and Doc are morons, but you're not dead. Far from it.

Look, unless there's another Jordan (unlikely) with a good setup (extremely unlikely), no one team is ever going to win like those great Bulls or old Celtics teams did. The league is too spread out and watered down now. That may be a bad thing, as Simmons often attests, but I think it promotes fairness. The best teams in the future are going to be like the Spurs - several titles spread out over a long period of time. No more dynasties, unless miracles happen. Even if Oden does become the next Duncan, it won't mean that you're always guaranteed a title. You have to build smart, like the Spurs have.... and I guarantee Danny would probably bring in the wrong guys (but at least they'd have good brain types!). So stop whining.

Remember when you and Philly were the class of the East in the early 80's? We haven't had nearly the success you did since 1983. Do we think we're cursed? Actually, yes, many do, but we also know that stupid people are at fault for many problems.

Fans of Utah - wearing light blue is not intimidating, unless you are at Chapel Hill.

Chicago Bulls Mgmt. - in light of the fact that you overpaid for Ben Wallace, you need to get Gasol and get him now. This is a good draft, but no one at #9 can help you. Give up Ty Thomas, give up Selfosha if you must, give up your next ten friggin' draft picks, but do not wait. You put a limit on how quickly you want to contend by forking over that cash to an older undersized guy. Why wait with Thomas, who might be too close to Deng in style anyway? I don't know why this hasn't happened yet.

Young guards - I've been thinking about how so many teams need to fill a hole at a guard spot, and how there should be great young guards coming into the league. While there have been, I look at many teams with big holes in the back court. They're one guard away from being good. And yet, not enough kids are stepping up... and even worse, they only need to do a little to do so.

For all these 6-4 or so guys that come into the league with delusions of grandeur and get kicked out, I say to you, now is one of the best times to be a guard in the L. Because you only need to do two things well anymore in order to get a job:

1. Play defense.

2. Hit threes.

That's it. Don't worry about being a complete one or two; only a very select few can be prime players there. Unless you're a true star at a defined position, you might need to become a specialist. This is not terrible. In fact, you could be starting for a great team if you just concentrated on these two things.

You see, I think the league is becoming kind of like college now, where you have great lead guards who are not necessarily ones or twos. Kobe, LeBron, Wade, Iverson, Arenas, Parker, Bibby... these guys can shoot and score and do everything. They don't need great handlers next to them; they just need guys who can shoot an open J and play D. That's all. Cleveland, La Lakers, Miami, and others have been saving their cash with question marks at the point because they don't care.

It's been driving me crazy these playoffs that only a few people, like Bruce Bowen and Raja Bell, have realized what it takes for someone to succeed in the NBA. Few guys are talented enough to be true stars or big time scorers. Most just aren't, when you place them in the best competition. Those guys realized that they can have long and productive careers by succeeding at two seemingly simple tasks. Yet, no one is stepping up for Utah or Cleveland, when the opportunity is right there. You could be starting for a Finals team if you just concentrated on two things: defense and treys.

So for all you youngins out there who think you're the next LB or KB or whatnot, try these two fundamentals out. Practice them. Learn them. You might just get yourself a fat contract for years and years.